I’ve done my fair share of sleeping over so I’m not 100% scared of intimacy… just a little skittish lol. But spending the night can be lots of fun if you enjoy the person’s company and not just their body. My ex basically moved me in without asking me if I wanted to.
Me: D, where’s my co-op gaming hoodie? You know the one I left in your back seat.
Ex: Hey Babe it’s in my closet with the rest of your stuff
Me: Okkaaayyyy thanks.
Me: Why is your house key on my keychain?
Ex: So I don’t have to wake you up when I leave or you can sneak off to work while I’m sleeping. That way you’re not leaving my door unlocked. See I can be thoughtful!
Me: Damn it D, how did all my clean work clothes get in your closet
Me: And why is there a second toothbrush in your bathroom
Me: And an open pack of my go to tampons
Ex: Did I forget to tell you that you moved in 3 days ago?
I kid you not, this is a snippet of that conversation that happened via text.
Anyway back to the topic at hand… The first sleepover. I’m honestly am okay with the whole sleepover thing. I mean who’s honestly opposed to morning sex? But it’s the initial one that gets me all bent outta shape.
The other day my friend forced me out of the comfort of my bed and dangled the promised of loaded fries and drinks in front of me. I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed to leave the house, sick or not because I had not been seen in weeks and I was missed. When we reached her choice of venue (Flannigans) I was utterly dismayed cause there were no loaded fries on the menu D: but sour apple martinis were offered as compensation so I choose to forgive her! Sometime later, she started talking about her current fling and how she had been asked to spend the night for the 3rd time. Each time she had found some reason to bail. On occasion 1, she “passed” out. On occasion 2, she literally ran, she went as far as booking a train ticket to visit family. On occasion 3, I was her unwilling and unknowing scapegoat. She told him that she hadn’t seen me in weeks and that she missed me and needed girl time. (I eventually dropped her off at his house because I refuse to be that friend)
We got to talking about the why of it all and she concluded that she was scared. Scared they were moving too fast. She’s fresh out of an 8 yrs. relationship where she and her ex lived together for the large majority of those years and they were engaged, so the skittishness on her part is understandable. I could tell she was feeling down so I confessed that I had no such excuse and always freaked out at the mere mention of the fist sleepover. I’ve got Woody from Toy Story screaming in my head “Run like the wind Bullseye” on repeat, until I do just that.
Just like her, I ceremoniously check of a mental list of all the what-ifs, every little thing that can go wrong, every scenario my imaginative brain can come up with. Most of it is stupid shit like, what if tonight is the night my sleeping self decides to snore and it’s the loud and ugly kind? (I rarely if ever snore, and it’s not the loud kind unless my nose is ridiculously stuffy) What if my SO is a blanket hog and the house is too cold? What if it’s too hot and I sweat? What if I wake up first, do I stare blindly at the ceiling? What if I talk in my sleep and reveal some embarrassing nonsense that I swore I would never talk about again? At this point, I trigger myself and have a full-blown anxiety attack and run for the hills. All of which she agreed with but her number 1 fear was that she’d end up with a stomach ache and use the bathroom when another one of the inhabitants needed to use the bathroom, it’s the only one in the house she admitted. I’m slightly ashamed to admit I laughed at that one… Until she uttered the dreaded, what if the toilet clogs and there is no plunger?
Adds last 2 what-if scenarios to current list of first sleepover fears
Regardless of the whys and what-ifs, or even my want to plan things out… I guess I need a bit of spontaneity when it comes to the initial sleepover, like maybe don’t give me days to think about it too much lol. Also, I absolutely need my car for the option of an escape if I get too freaked out… it doesn’t mean I’ll use it but having the option is always nice.
Hmmm, now that I think about it, maybe that’s why D moved me in without asking?