Confidence is your best accessory

There’s a whole list of things that I take for granted or forget about on a daily basis. Little things mainly but then there are the occasional big ones. Stuff that while important, seems to slip my mind no matter the circumstance.
For instance my feet. They crack and pop on the regular. Years of dance and sports have done a number on my joints and being sick doesn’t help matters. Every time I curl my toes on my right foot… snap, crackle, pop. Twist my ankle…. clack.
Taking my RXs. I know that’s probably the worst thing to forget if I want to ya know… move when I wake up in the morning. but my bed is so comfy that I forget whenever I get pulled into its warmth.
Setting my alarm in the morning, yep that too. I’m lucky my internal clock doesn’t let me over sleep.
If it wasn’t for the constant meowing at 8am I’d probably forget to feed my cat Nyx. Dont even get me started on walking the dogs. Heck, I’d forget to feed myself most days if left to my own devices.
So it was no surprise that I didn’t notice how much weight I’ve lost until I tried on a new pair of pants that I bought not even 2 wks ago and I was effectively drowning in them. I brushed it off and forgot all about it until I went to see my doctor for a check up. I got on the scale, my customary snark included and then did a double take when I noticed I was 30 lbs lighter….
I legit panicked. I know it sounds weird but I’m kinda distraught with the drastic drop. It has less to do with the closet and dresser full of clothes I need to have altered or donate and more to do with me as a person.
My weight has always been a point of contention for my friends/family and I. I’m aware of my weight but if I ever make a comment about it I get reamed by my them with the customary “shut up, you’re gorgeous”. I don’t sugar coat my reactions so they usually hear something along the lines of “Bitch I didn’t say I was a troll” as a response.
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Regardless… I’ve learned that it’s just safer not to mention it and to absentmindedly nod my head whenever they mention looks and not to argue with them. It’s safer for all involved if I want to avoid a fight.
I am/was comfortable with my weight, or as comfortable as one can be when they don’t have much say in it. It took years of positive reinforcement to feel comfortable in my own skin and accepting of my weight. I even went as far as tattooing a reminder of my struggles on my forearm for those days when I’m feeling particularly fluffy and hating the meds.
It works for me.
I don’t exactly know why I’ve dropped so much weight and to be fair, I haven’t done anything different in my day to day routine. I workout and go to the dance studio the same amount as I always have. I cook and eat the same way. My meds haven’t been adjusted that much, so I’m not really sure what’s going on.
It’s gonna take a lot of getting used to, but I guess I’ll survive.

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*Cue the dramatic music*
What I am not in any way shape or form okay with is people assuming it’s okay to randomly throw in their two cents about my body. Mr. random domly dom dudebro, it is not okay to tell me to stop going to the gym least I loose my curves.The tits and ass aren’t llikely to go anywhere what with genetics and all but that is neither here nor there. My body is not yours to demand shit of. What I do or don’t do with my body is my own business.  The same goes to the random stranger that thinks they should give me health advice. Fuck right off. I pay medical professional enough to advise me on health. If I’m not your ideal that’s great… I didn’t ask. I don’t fucking care.
Beauty is subjective but I happen to think people of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities and whatever fucking else are beautiful. Please stop with all the judgey shit. Just staahpppp.
 If the video is upside down… my bad that’s just how it loaded onto the site

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