Boo You Suck…. Yet Another Outfit Mishap

GAIIISSSSSSS 😦

I fell for the gimmick…

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That stupid miracle bra that is all over Instagram. You know the one… it’s got that stringy bit it the front that pulls the ladies together & keeps those bitches up and perky as all hell.

I swear, I need to stop shopping when I’m bored or overly stress and engage in better extra curriculars… that aren’t so bad for my wallet and maybe better for other aspects of my life, ya know something other than the gym. The occasional night out with my friends just isn’t cutting it. (I just realized that my life is way too boring at the moment. just look at my boring as hell schedule)

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Anyways, I digress, like always… That bra. It looked so awesome. No evil hook things and you guys know how much I hate that shit and it is seamless. The band is just as bad as those hooks. Oh and did I forget to mention that it is supposed to do all this miracle work WITHOUT an underwire. I was already super interested but when I saw Amber Rose’s post in the same bra I was yelling a resounding “sign me up”. I figured if it could hold those puppies, mine would be a mother fluffin breeze.

I was wrong.

Oh, so very, very wrong.

I pulled the contraption out of the box and I was instantly wondering how it was going to hold my boobs if it barely covered them. That was not a D cup. But I’m a stubborn bitch and so I powered through, hopeful.

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That hope was wasted, along with my nonrefundable $9. Let’s put it this way, way too much glue that does nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. I was just sitting at my desk trying to finish writing some chapters and it would barely hold them in place. There wasn’t that much moving unless you count the occasional booty wiggle when a particularly fun song came on.

Putting this thing on was its own interesting debacle, what with the company’s assumption that all women have the same exact breasts, with the same sort of nipples. Newsflash, we don’t.

But please, somebody tell me how the glue wouldn’t hold the cups up properly, making my boobs look like I was going bra-less (Which I’m all for, except you know, when I’m wearing a bra!) but refused to release itself for my skin when I tried to remove them! It was very very painful lol

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How does that even happen? Apparently that is just my luck lol.

Ladies don’t do it, not unless your boobs are on the smaller end. Also, it is not true to size, it is about 2 sizes too small so always size up.

But even then, I’ll make no promises to your success with this contraption.

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