Excuse Me Mister… Where the hell are my panties?!?

I have this routine. A general rule of thumb. Keep your panties on unless you know who you’re messing with. Wanna get laid? Pull them to the side or stash those fuckers in your purse. Want your ass spanked? They can come down at some point but they need to stay in your possession.

It’s a necessity.

But, why?

Let me start off by saying yes I’m a big girl, but that is most certainly not why my undies always stay on. My confidence is doing all right and I’m not ashamed of my body. I’m a survivor and my body is merely a reflection of that battle. That in itself makes it beautiful.

BUT my panties… I always (usually) keep them on because I’m an utter mess lol. Every time I play with someone new, they give me an incredulous look when we get to the topic of my undies and them always staying put. I’m often asked why and all I can do is laugh.

So let me just tell you a little story.

This one time at band camp (if you didn’t catch on to the reference, we can’t be friends) I lost my panties… Well, it’s happened more than once, but that is neither here nor there. Well actually that helps validate my point.

Anyway, as I was saying, I lost my panties. My earliest recollection (which isn’t saying much becaise my memory is shit) was when I was first getting into the lifestyle. It was after a pretty intense play session. I lost my mental faculties because after the scene was done, I forgot all about them. I have a love hate relationship with underwear, on one hand they can be mighty cute on the other hand they can be seriously annoying. Anyway, the domme in this situation got a kick outta it but to me it was both hilarious and mortifying.

Who forgets their damn panties?!?
…Me obviously.

The most recent stint at band camp was during a random encounter. I’m not really one to do a one off hook up, this may or may not have been my first random one nighter, but my head was not where it should have been. I was horny and so I said yes when a sexy as all hell couple asked me to join them…

Fast forward past all the making out and heavy petting and the guy ends up on his knees and my overly aroused mind registers that my brand new, just bought from the store that morning panties are being shimmed down my legs. Normally I remember my rule but in this instance, I’m way more interested in what Hottie McKneel a lot is doing down there and what the sexy woman is doing to the other parts of me…

So off come my lacey magenta panties and I am pretty sure I helped take them off at some point because I know I had to lift my tush off the sofa for them to come off, but I can care less because his mouth is doing wonders down there and the sexy busty and leggy brunette is whispering all sorts of naughtiness in my ear.

The sex was mind blowing. I’m pretty sure I’m still shaking just thinking about it.

Over an hour later, after the exhibitionist in me got her rocks off and when all was said and done and I’m trying to fix myself up so I don’t look like I was thoroughly fucked, but I legit can’t find my panties. Part my energy goes into trying to find my panties and the other is trying to tame the knotted birds nest that my hair has become and wondering when the fuck did one of my heels come off.

At this point, as silly as it sounds, I’m freaking out because I don’t remember if there is a liga in my purse so I can at least pull back my hair because my gosh is it bad. But most importantly, my undies have miraculously gone poof. Panties that bright don’t just dissappear or blend in with the scenery. And trust me I ecen used my phone flashlight. I looked everywhere but got zilch… except my bare ass in the air on display for anyone who passed to see.

I’m wearing a short as hell dress, its really a shirt but I’m so short (5’0) this shirt fit more like a revealing dress. I decided “oh well, let get outta here. You need a shower and bed” but now I’m seriously self conscience, all that needs to happen is for the wind to blow so that a shit ton of people can get an eye full of my naked ass and my other abused unmentionables.

We made it to the car with no unplanned incidents. I’m legit apologizing to my sister, and she’s reassuring me that she’s a. not mad cause I did nothing wrong b. kinda grateful and c. pretty shocked that I let loose to that extent.

I’m on the express way cracking jokes with her when the sex fog clears and I realized…


My sister’s reaction was priceless. Through her laughing she tells me, “That doesn’t rrally happen in real life… Ok so apparently it does. How does this movie shit always happen to you?”

My thoughts mirrored hers except I’m not terribly surprised about the panties, I just thought propositions and sex like that only happened in movies and on tv… but apparently my group of peoples were trying to tell me about that possibility when I first mentioned my missing undergarments. I guess I was just a smidge too distracted to catch on.


But I’m still kinda bummed just thinking about it, sure the sex was great but those panties were brand new, extremely cute, not that cheap and I really liked the way my ass looked in them!

This is why the panties always stay put…I can’t be trusted with them off

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